Why Playschool

The tears threatened.  Even as I woke Grace up on her first day of playschool, I wasn’t confident that she would take to school immediately She had after all always been the shy and timid one, burying her face in my neck when confronted with new people or new places, even taking her time with family members she met after a period of time.

She on the other hand was excited. About her new school bag and water bottle, about the concept of “school” that the family had been talking about all summer, about the fact that mommy promised ice-cream at end of the day. I knew that her excitement stemmed from her innocence. She had no prior experience of being in an unfamiliar setting without the comforting presence of family. I knew that the excitement was short-lived.

My fears were soon confirmed. Tears threatened again as she tightened her grip around my shoulder as we entered “school”. A bewildered look dawned on her face when she saw all the unfamiliar children and teachers. I felt the fear in her little body.

Tears blurred my eyes as she clung to my neck in panic while the teacher pried her out of my arms. The sight of seeing her crying uncontrollably and screaming “Mummy” as the teacher took her upstairs was nearly my undoing, but I pushed down the emotion and called out a consolation to her.  

In that moment I was reminded that I had inevitably signed up for a lifetime of heartache when I became a mom. It is not easy to stand by and let the necessary process of LIFE take its course. My mother’s heart instinctively wants to protect her and keep her from every suffering in this world. A friend of mine, a mother herself, asked me on Facebook, “Oh why do they have to go to school at all!” She had voiced my pain.

Indeed we as mothers will at every juncture of our child’s life want to question the necessity of pain that heightens the distress in our own hearts. Indeed why school, why tests, why exams, why mean children, why rude and insensitive people, why college, why the heartbreak of unrequited love, why betrayal of trust, why accidents, why sickness… the list goes on. If it were in our capacity, I am sure we mothers would not rest until we had hunted down each of these sources of pain and anxiety and bomb them into non-existent forever. Such is the ferocity of a mother’s love.

But the reality is we have no control. These things are too great for us as human mom’s to outdo or vanquish and yet…

We are NOT without hope.

When I had Grace, a dear friend had given me a book called, “Quiet Moment for Busy Mothers”. During the past few days of difficulty, the first chapter of this book written by Rebecca Mulvaney came to my mind. The concluding paragraphs from the chapter spoke straight to my heart. And so my dear fellow mommies and moms-to-be, regardless of which life stage your child is currently in, I share with you this passage:

“From the beginning I’ve known little control, but I’ve been far from powerless. I’ve known the power of being well-acquainted with the Ruler of the universe. He commands the angels who guard my children, and he rules over every event in their lives…. I remind myself of the One who is in control, the One who loves my children even more than I do, the One who knows what is best. These are matters too great for me!”

She concludes with this verse – “I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O [mothers], put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore” Psalm 131:1b-3